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Mar 06

Stuff I Learned the Hard Way: “Gonorrhea Talbot is Not an Acceptable Name”

WHAT’S PLAYING: RihannaWhat’s My Name

When I was five years old, I overheard my brother and his friend discussing a paper they were writing for Health Class. I was so taken by one of the words they kept repeating that I decided to change my name to…Gonorrhea Talbot.

You can imagine my mother’s reaction.

Not wanting to explain the concept of sex – let alone STD’s – to a five-year-old, my mother simply forbade me to use my new name, which of course, made me that much more determined to keep it.

And by “determined,” I mean “loud.”

I spent two days going around yelling “MY NAME IS GONORRHEA!!” to everyone I met before my mother told me what it meant.

Permanent link to this article: http://www.jacquitalbot.com/2012/03/stuff-i-learned-the-hard-way-gonorrhea-talbot-is-not-an-acceptable-name/

5 comments

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  1. Mandy

    Hahaha! So glad you’re back, Jacqie! This post reminds me of when I was that age and my parents took me to meet my new step grandmother. The entire way they reminded me that the new grandma is VERY overweight, so don’t say anything or it could hurt her feelings. What’s the first thing I said when she answered the door? “OH MAN YOU’RE FAT!”

    Mandy

    1. justjacqui2

      Thanks Mandy,

      It’s good to be back. Sounds like you and I would have made quite a pair growing up. Though for the record, I still think gonorrhea is an oddly pretty name for such an ugly thing. They should come up with a more fitting name like…WHARSHIGEITZMER.

  2. Melinda VanLone

    I was giggling from the title, and I darn near spit at my monitor at the rest of it. Too funny.

    1. justjacqui2

      Thanks. If only my mother had your sense of humor…

  3. Mandy

    I agree! They shouldn’t use French to name ugly things 🙂

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